On The Twitter, there’s a hashtag “trending”* at the moment called ##Dear14yrOldSelf. The premise is simple - you tweet something that you would tell your 14 year old self. As I was huffing and puffing on the cross-trainer at my gym today, I suddenly thought to myself “#Dear14yearOldSelf Exercise more before you leave school”. Well, that’s not quite right - if you try to imagine yourself saying a hashtag, you go a bit cross-eyed and it comes out a bit wrong, like you’re sending a telegram. More precisely, I thought - “this surely would have been easier if I’d spent more time actually running, rather than mashing the keys on “Daley Thompson’s Decathlon”.

Anyway, peeling myself off the floor after a particularly vigorous lunge, I returned home to see the other extreme - a baby sat on a table-tennis table, while his over-bearing father FORCES him to take up sport. Honestly. Some people, living out their failed sporting dreams. But this? Really. He should be ASHAMED.